Greetings in Early Childhood

A reflection on adult-child greetings.

Dr. Maria Montessori introduced the concept of initial lessons of grace and courtesy for young children.  In this lesson, children learn to properly introduce themselves: "hello my name is xyxyxyx, what's yours?" at which point the other person replies and the lesson continues, "nice to meet you," "nice to meet you too!"  Some children forget at times and say, "who are you," at which point we just say, "hello, my name is zhzhzhzh, what's yours" which is usually enough of a reminder for them to continue a polite introduction.  

In addition to thinking through our proper greetings with children (and one another!), it is important to remember that Nia House is a children's space.  It really belongs to them.  We adults (parents and teachers) are just part of the environment.  If you draw a lot of attention to yourself in your arrivals and departures, the children become very drawn to you, rather than to their independent play, and their time becomes a little less constructive.  Once they are distracted from their independent play, greater conflicts arise and children sometimes even compete for adult attention.  

And.... we really want your children to see you (parents, caregivers and family members) greet the teachers properly and the teachers to greet you properly upon arrival.  The teachers count on those sweet moments of contact with. you.  Please reflect on a balance of proper greetings while helping the children (and teachers) remain focused on their work.  

Additionally, as a community, let's reflect on physical boundaries as well.  It is not physically appropriate to hug children you don't know, nor is it appropriate to pat heads.  You are encouraged to give warm waves or fist bumps and high fives/ shake hands with children, if they are interested in connecting.  

This is a follow-up to our last parent meeting on the topic of safety.  We certainly don't want young children hugging complete strangers or being physically affectionate with people who are not trusted adults, so let's set the tone for appropriate greetings now!

TRANSITIONS & POWER

Thank you everyone for showing up to discuss, for better or worse, ways children seek power and healthy ways to empower them through life transitions.

Here are the slides from the meeting.

Important takeaways…

There are MANY transitions between birth and six years of age.  Some adults feel quite alone in supporting children’s searches for power during transitions, while others find ease in the community resources (teachers, other parents and more) as they support their children’s shifting patterns.  Some children arrive on this planet more adaptable and flexible, due to their temperament, while others are particularly challenged by their transitions.

Transitions at Nia House include starting Nia House, the move to Primary and becoming an elder in the community. Life holds big and smaller transitions, moving homes, a new sibling, death, divorce or getting a new pet, going to the grocery store, and preparing for bed.

Children (and all humans) seek and need power. Children seek power to ground themselves and to self soothe. Power in all of its forms can give a human agency. Children will especially seek power through transitions.

Common areas where children can realize power in empowering and frustrating ways are through eating, mealtime, sleep, toileting, and in resistance. These areas are each linked to body autonomy- children inherently have power here.

Our role at Nia House is to normalize transitions and power-seeking behaviors and to help create community consensus of understanding and compassion around power seeking behaviors tied to transitions both small and large. We hope to offer developmentally appropriate and safe boundaries for children during transitions and to hold children reasonably accountable during the process.

Parent roles in transitions/power seeking times:

  • Maintain predictable routines.

  • Offer language of positive discipline. Jane Nelsen’s Positive Discipline article- 18 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles.

  • Make positive observations. Remember- "where energy flows, resistance grows" what you give negative attention to will grow power for your child.  

  • Parent resilience (children’s transitions are short-lived and they move on quickly- you should too!).

  • Give appropriate choices when possible.

Nicole- 20 Years at Nia House

I have been lucky to know Nicole since before Nia House. I mean, long before. We met in the nineties at Henry J. Kaiser, Jr. Elementary School in Oakland, when the scrunchies were large, the pants were low, and we were all wearing out cassette tapes of Boyz II Men's Cooleyhighharmony in a knock-off Walkmen. Nicole and I were both seriously studious, seriously silly kids whose force-of-nature moms were divorcing dads named Michael. We were fast friends and our families have been family ever since. 

Even in elementary school, Nicole was something extraordinary. When we graduated, our class got to vote on the "salutatorian." As I remember it, this honor was not explained to us in the usual way -- as some kind of runner-up to the academic Valedictorian (for which Nicole was definitely in the running) -- but rather as the best, most good, kind and admirable human being. On this one thing, our class of crazy tweens was unanimous: there was only Nicole.

When she started teaching at Nia House, Nicole would regale our families at Christmas with stories of the kids' antics, cracking us up with the tractor-beam eye-movements she used to recall the littles to their best selves. Little did Tom and I know that before long two of those ingenious little Nia House critters would be our own.

Witnessing her adult power as an educator, and also as an artist, I think it comes down to this. Nicole is a supernatural phenomenon: she is in this world, but not of it. This situation is literal: she has one foot in the world that ought to be, and her calling as a teacher and as an artist is what links our broken reality to the just and gorgeous one that humans and other earthly beings can and must create together, in the company of their ancestors. In working with our children, Nicole is raising up citizens of that other world. And she is imparting daily lessons for their frazzled parents in the sustenance of beloved community in the meantime. She still has my vote for best human being, and I have no higher praise than to say that my heart is easy when my children are in her hands. If only all children could receive such apprenticeship; what a world would we have then. 

Lion Dance and Pho : Lunar New Year Festivities

Lion Dancers from Hung Sing Martial Arts performed for the Nia House children. Some children opted to watch from inside and others bravely fed the dragon good luck year of snake paper. The loud sounds of the drum and cymbals contributed to a festive vibe!

Phở. a Vietnamese soup, dish was served by Nia House parents and delightfully slurped up by the Primary children.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR to all!

Korean: "새해 복 많이 받으세요" Saehae bok mani badeuseyo

Vietnamese: "Chúc mừng năm mới" Chúc mừng năm mới

Cantonese: "恭喜發財" Gung Hei Fat Choi 

Mealtime

On Saturday, Nia House’s staff joined forces with Angelica Sanchez Garcia, RDN, City of Berkeley nutritionist for WIC to present on healthy eating and mealtime success.

Angelica’s presentation offered inspiration and insight into the downfalls of sugar, where it sneaks into children’s diet, the harm, and what we can do about it. Check out her slideshow here. Thank you, Angelica!

Nia House staff presented on the expectations and keys to a successful and meaningful mealtime at Nia House. Mealtime is an opportunity to connect to food, culture, values and to people in friendship and as family. At Nia House, mealtime is beautiful time. See for yourself in the videos below.

Tenets of Mealtime:

  • Practice- Every time a child sets a table or eats, it is them practicing SO MANY skills- recall, motor skills- fork, spoon, holding a cup, sipping without spilling, getting the food to the mouth, naming foods, learning likes and dislikes, opening and closing containers, and more.  

  • Participation- Children are engaged members at meal-time. Ask questions, talk about the food, ask for their help, discuss likes and dislikes, etc. This is a time for relationship building, language development, grace and courtesy, and more.  

  • Responsibility- Lunch time, especially in the Primary years, would not be possible without the responsibility of the children. How can your children help at home? They want to!

  • Repetition - Children learn through repetition, meal time will arrive at a place of ritual, specialness, and even a sacred time only with repeated experience.  

  • Ritual- Thoughtfulness around eating presents an opportunity to create meaning around your family mealtime.

Primary Mealtime:

Toddler Mealtime Ritual:

LUNCH IDEAS

  • edamame + tofu

  • avocado + grilled cheese

  • yogurt + strawberries

  • ravioli + zucchini

  • hummus & cheese sandwich + sliced fruit

  • pesto pasta

  • broccoli, yams + salmon

  • sliced carrots

    • rice + beans + quesadilla

Anniversary Soirée @ Donkey & Goat

Nia House makes 50 look amazing!

Enjoy pictures from the evening…

Below is a slideshow with a sample of pictures spanning the past 50 years. This slideshow played during the 50th Party.

An excerpt of Eve’s Party Welcome-

Happy Birthday, Nia House.

Welcome to all- and a huge round of applause for you- we’re here to celebrate your huge impacts on Nia House’s rich past and share your birthday blessings with one another for our future.  

You represent the heart of Nia House. At the family friendly birthday bash in August, we formally acknowledged NH’s 50 years with a very traditional Montessori birthday party for this school.  Tia Waller-Pryde, NH’s founder, along with children and teachers held the earth and walked around the sun. As some of you may recall, the skies opened and it didn’t rain, but POURED for the first hour of the event.  Our pancake makers and coffee pourers and everyone there was drenched, and then, as fast as the rain appeared, it cleared and we had the most amazing walk around the sun, traditional Montessori birthday celebration style.  The resilience of this community shone through with the sun and a piece of cake.  


Between the start of the 50th year of NH and now, I’m filled with incredible amounts of gratitude to Nia House and the people who once visioned this school, built the structure of the organization, found funding, led fearlessly… and even more gratitude for the countless families who have shared their children and their family’s earliest years with all of the Nia House staff.  Trusting us, the teachers and staff, to help prepare your children for life is an enormous act for so many of you- the Nia House families and friends.

We staff take that role very seriously.  Dr. Maria Montessori wrote that the EDUCATION OF EVEN A VERY SMALL CHILD DOES NOT AIM AT PREPARING HIM FOR SCHOOL, BUT FOR LIFE. Observing the unbelievable potential of each child during their early development is one the greatest honors.  You adult and young adult alumni here tonight are the perfect examples of the hope that is cultivated at Nia House.  Thank you, alumni for sharing yourselves and your development with all of us!

Nia House is unique. There are more and more early childhood education programs available, thankfully, but few to none who share the curriculum developed by the esteemed Dr. Maria Montessori, and who share the wisdom of the pedagogy with the intended audience of young learners- all children from very diverse backgrounds.  What other early learning program aims to subsidize $700,000 of tuition per year?  What other program aims to support its staff with highly competitive pay and ongoing support of continuing education?  What other program has formalized structure directing financial aid to prioritize BIPOC families?  And what other program puts their children’s needs first and foremost?  With you- with your continuing encouragement, birthday party joy, love and financial support, Nia House does.  You do!

Birthdays bring about so much emotion, and incredible cause for celebration.  What a joy to share the core beliefs of Dr. Maria Montessori’s pedagogy with all of you.  You, the heart of Nia House.  What does this moment bring to you?  For me, I’m honestly overwhelmed with love, nostalgia and hope, seeing all of you alumni, families, staff and current families.  You represent the richest history and the brightest future I can imagine.  Let’s take a moment to hear from you- on the count of 3, shout your wish for Nia House’s future!  With so many of you sharing in this moment and directing all of your good-will toward our youngest learners, they and we as a society are destined for greatness.  We need and I personally need that hope.  


So with trust in our youngest and newest generation, with trust in our incredible teaching team, and with trust in our community of caregivers, parents, friends and family members, we leave the future of NH to YOU.  May your wishes for Nia House become our collective reality.  

To throw a party and to find the space to cultivate this incredible joy and community love, takes a bit of organization.  A HUGE round of applause is in order to our school’s master party planner, social media genius, and communications/ videographer extraordinaire: Stacey Wood.  Peter Jackson helped create the overarching strategy and messaging around our 50th anniversary year, along with timeline, and the logistics.  Reena Karia designed the logo of our 50th anniversary along with the many beautiful images that have accompanied the logo and the mailings you’ve received.  Donkey and Goat has so generously hosted us tonight, and current parent Rob Lilly has catered this event for us.  Oakland United Beerworks sponsored the Nia House’s 50th Anniversary beer. And SO MANY more of you have participated in countless ways.  We are so grateful for one another, for you.

Very most importantly, Nia House is a community, and you are certainly an integral part, but our Nia House teachers past and present are the folks who show up every single day to support the mission of the organization, offering that very specific education of peace and justice, modeling grace courtesy and community leadership.  The respect with which our teachers observe and support our Nia House children is heartfelt, healing and genuine.  Nia House teachers, we honor, respect and cherish you- and we have a special gift for all of you.  Come on up for your Reena-designed Nia House bandana!  And a big round of applause for Nia House past and present staff.  

As a reminder please visit Fundraising station to help us meet our goal tonight of $25,000.  We are well on our way, and we look to all of you to help us meet this mark for tonight which will lead us to our annual goal of subsidizing $700,000 of financial aid this current year.

I now introduce Tia Waller-Pryde, NH’s founder who will share her remarks on NH’s history and her wishes for Nia House’s future.  She’ll be followed by long-time school director, Lee Wagner. 

First Annual Hot Pot Day

 

THANK YOU to our incredible parent community for hosting Nia House’s first annual Hot Pot Day. Hot Pot is a special community meal found in East and Southeast cuisine. The Nia House families contributed ingredients, the children chopped, and together assembled nutritious warm bowls. The challenge of chopsticks was enjoyed by the children and the adults watching!

 

50th ART

The cover of Nia House’s first Parent Handbook.

Nia House parent, Reena, dedicated an incredible amount of time and artistry toward Nia House’s 50th branding. She was inspired by the 70s and the playfulness, brightness and fun of childhood. Reena infused Nia House children’s botanical drawings into the theme.

Did you get your 50th mail invitation? That is Reena’s magic.

Thank you, Reena, for your beautiful work in honoring this milestone for Nia House.

Black Liberation and Juneteenth

Nia House invites all families to honor Juneteenth.

Learn the history, teach the history, and join in present day efforts of Black empowerment.

Here are some places to begin or continue this journey:

Bittersweet, Goodbyes

It is that time of year again. Each child pictured is on to their next life adventure. We have cherished being in community with each child and their family. These early years are joyful and magical. Our hearts are fuller for loving these wonderful humans!

Bully is Not a Preschool Word

Conflict resolution in early childhood education. 

Nia House Parent Meeting April 17, 2024

Purpose of the meeting: to understand how and why conflicts arise in early education8 and to embrace resolution and prevention with greater understanding and the utmost compassion and sensitivity for all children.  Conflict is a growing tool!
What is bullying?

Bullying is a planned activity that requires a degree of planning that preschool aged children are not yet capable of.

Not all acts of aggression are bullying.

For example, young children think name rhyming is funny, and it can be considered part of their appropriate banter, when it’s consensual. Children also benefit from physical, sometimes rough, connection, and that can also be considered part of appropriate play, when it’s consensual. Young children are discovering the structure of social relationships and looking to belong.  Early childhood is the time to explore the limits and boundaries of relationships and consent, especially while support from loving adults is present.

What types of aggressive behaviors do young children exhibit? (parent brainstorm) 

  • pushing

  • hair pulling

  • biting

  • grabbing

  • unkind words

  • exclusion “You’re not coming to my birthday party”

  • threatening

  • door slamming

Repetitive aggression or conflict hold developmental purpose.

Just as young children need to repeat using a spoon and counting to 100, before they get it mastered, they also need to repeat conflict resolution skills, which means repeating an aggressive behavior is developmentally appropriate. We as parents/teachers can define boundaries/set limits to minimize harm and demonstrate/encourage appropriate behaviors.

While at Nia House, there are many opportunities for repeating boundary setting and repair work, and the big implication is: conflicts can be resolved/ you know what you like and you need/ you can repair if you make a mistake (or hurt someone’s feelings or body).

Neuro-science supports that children 1-6 year-old are in sensitive periods of development for:

  • Impulse control

  • Social

  • Communication

  • Recognizing similarities and differences (visual and auditory discrimination)

  • Repetition

  • Physical

  • Need for belonging and community

  • Children develop social‐emotional skills with increasing complexity from birth onwards

“Establishing lasting peace is the work of education.” Dr. Maria Montessori

Nia House believes that experiencing conflict and the tools for repair will help to create a generation of future world leaders. We expect that early education will have lasting impact on how children interact as humans throughout their lives. Thus, teachers model language of care and repair through each part of the day- offering language to express needs and to solve problems.

Examples of setting limits with children:

  • Ouch! I do not like that.

  • We don’t push people, but you can push this truck.

  • I like it when you ask before touching me/my work/etc.

  • Before you touch, you can ask, ‘May I have a turn’

Steps of resolution and repair:

  1. Model “checking in” ”Are you ok?”

  2. Acknowledge the mistake “Ouch. That hurts. You were hit by the shovel.”

  3. State the needs “You can ask your friend to have gentle hands/wait until I am done/or get an ice pask.”

  4. Provide care

  5. State future actions: “Next time I will...” :I’m Sorry” is not the cure or the solution.

Questions we (adults) ask when we see aggressive interactions?

  1. “Ouch!”

  2. “Is everything ok” 

  3. “Are you enjoying that game?”

  4. “Do you need any help? Or How can I help? 

  5. “Are you hurt? Do you need a hug?”

  6. Exclamation/ observation: Example- child hits - Ouch!  Oh my!  Wow- would you like to offer a high-5? Example, child grabs- Did you want to ask, may I work with you ?

What should I do to help my child?

  • Respond vs. React - ask a question rather than offer a judgment. Offer authoritative leadership- defined as thoughtful, deliberate, collaborative, responsive (not reactive). 

  • Ask yourself - what is the unmet need?  Is it attention, request, what skill is needed/ what is this behavior telling us (adults)?

  • Advocate for your child. Talk to your school teachers or leaders to learn more about your child’s needs and development.

  • When someone is hurt- we wait and watch- see if another child is helping and affirm that we notice and support their process of helping.

Palestine in Books for Children

The links below share booklists on children’s stories reflecting life, as it was, in Palestine.

“From heartwarming tales of friendship to insightful narratives about resilience, these books will spark conversations and broaden young minds, fostering understanding and empathy for the people and places of Palestine.” -SF Library