Thank you everyone for showing up to discuss, for better or worse, ways children seek power and healthy ways to empower them through life transitions.
Here are the slides from the meeting.
Important takeaways…
There are MANY transitions between birth and six years of age. Some adults feel quite alone in supporting children’s searches for power during transitions, while others find ease in the community resources (teachers, other parents and more) as they support their children’s shifting patterns. Some children arrive on this planet more adaptable and flexible, due to their temperament, while others are particularly challenged by their transitions.
Transitions at Nia House include starting Nia House, the move to Primary and becoming an elder in the community. Life holds big and smaller transitions, moving homes, a new sibling, death, divorce or getting a new pet, going to the grocery store, and preparing for bed.
Children (and all humans) seek and need power. Children seek power to ground themselves and to self soothe. Power in all of its forms can give a human agency. Children will especially seek power through transitions.
Common areas where children can realize power in empowering and frustrating ways are through eating, mealtime, sleep, toileting, and in resistance. These areas are each linked to body autonomy- children inherently have power here.
Our role at Nia House is to normalize transitions and power-seeking behaviors and to help create community consensus of understanding and compassion around power seeking behaviors tied to transitions both small and large. We hope to offer developmentally appropriate and safe boundaries for children during transitions and to hold children reasonably accountable during the process.
Parent roles in transitions/power seeking times:
Maintain predictable routines.
Offer language of positive discipline. Jane Nelsen’s Positive Discipline article- 18 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles.
Make positive observations. Remember- "where energy flows, resistance grows" what you give negative attention to will grow power for your child.
Parent resilience (children’s transitions are short-lived and they move on quickly- you should too!).
Give appropriate choices when possible.
