How does Nia House do the holidays?

Written in 2016.

At Nia House we recognize this time of year as a special one for many families, faiths, and customs. As the season changes, many settle into warmth, light, and celebration. At Nia House, we love to join in, honor, and investigate this season and it’s celebrations. 

Chanukah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, and Christmas are all a part of the Nia House curriculum. Nia House’s approach to each holiday is academic, inquisitive, and places the celebration into a historical and contemporary context.

What, you might wonder, do we do about Santa Claus?! Since we honor a plurality of experiences and celebrations, Santa Claus falls right in place with a history, a cultural context, and an honored space in the lives of those that incorporate Santa into their holidays. Our storytelling of the Santa Claus ritual stems from the history of Saint Nicholas, “a kind and generous man who left gifts of gold in the socks of a family in need.  He was so kind and so generous that some Christian people named him a Saint- the highest honor of all!  Christian people around the world believe that Saint Nicholas, also called Santa Claus, magically delivers presents to people on Christmas each year.”  The story continues with global traditions around Christmas trees, lights, gifts and other specific Christmas rituals.

The article “Santa Claus: Making The Invisible Visible” by Maren Schmidt offers a unique approach to Santa Claus. Schmidt muses on who picked her coffee beans or built an airplane, thus honoring the invisible labor that brings great luxury and comfort to her life. She shares, “I see Santa Claus being all these people in the world, who strive to serve humankind, to make life more enjoyable, more comfortable, more magical.”  Maren Schmidt brings forth an interesting social economic concept during a holiday season that can be laden with materialism. No matter what holiday a family celebrates, there are people that work, sometimes invisibly, to generate comfort, enjoyment, and magic. Some of us may incorporate Santa into this holiday season, and even if we do not, we can all gather around the value Schmidt describes in a developmental framework,

“As the young child enters a developmental stage of reasoning, around age six, and begins to wonder about Santa, we need to give them opportunities to work and contribute to something bigger than themselves. We need to show them how to choose to be part of the magical power of giving, service and surprise.
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Thank you to the Nia House families that modeled this spirit of giving and service with donations to Standing Rock.  As Nia House recognizes the many holidays of this season, we remain committed to instilling the value of service and of caring for one another and our environment. We always strive to honor each child and family’s truth and customs and by doing so the children at Nia House become aware of multiple truths, diversity in celebration, and a rich awareness of the winter holiday season.  

Family Traditions by Pearly

Thank you, Pearly, for this beautiful reflection on traditions in your family…

Family traditions were an easy thing for me growing up. We celebrated Chinese New Years with a reunion dinner with grandparents, we cleaned the tombstones of our ancestors on Qingming festival (also known as tomb sweeping festival), we ate cute little glutinous rice balls filled with red bean and peanuts when Winter Solstice came.

Then I came to America, met my husband, and started our family. Suddenly, traditions aren’t so simple anymore. My husband is African-American. While I can trace my family history back to exact village my ancestors came from, find the scholars in writings, the businesspeople in businesses that our extended family still owns today, things aren’t so clear cut for my husband. They don’t even know which part of Africa they originated from.

Hence began our journey in deciding what family traditions our family would have.

Chinese New Year

(1st in lunar calendar, changes in the Gregorian calendar)

Chinese New Year, also known as Lunar New Year, is celebrated for 15 days in China. In Singapore, where I am from, the international tourist and business hub cannot tolerate such a long break. On the eve of Chinese New Year, most employees are allowed to leave work earlier than usual to prepare for the family reunion dinner. It’s like Thanksgiving, except we don’t have turkey. But in America, there’s no celebration outside of Chinatowns, and usually not on the exact day of.

To maintain this tradition, I make sure to buy a roast duck, roast chicken, and that we have a full rice container on the eve of Chinese New Year that we have for dinner. We also add smaller dishes like mushrooms and seaweed that the children love and signify prosperity.

On the day of the Chinese New Year, I make sure both children wear new clothes that are red. Just like I did as a child, they receive red packets the night before that they keep in their pillowcases for good luck. And in the morning, they greet us receive another red packet to signify our blessings for them.

Kwanzaa

(Dec 26 - Jan 1)

Last year, we decided to prepare our home for Kwanzaa. We set up a small shrine in our bookshelf with traditional Kwanzaa symbols:

Mazao - fruit or crops in a bowl representing community productivity (this was easy)

Kinara - a seven-pronged candle holder (we just used individual candle holders)

Mishumaa Saba - seven candles, three red on the right signifying struggle, three green on the left signifying hope, and one black in the middle signifying the people who have heritage in Africa.

Muhindi - ears of corn, one for each child, or two for children of the community

Zawadi - gifts for children

Kikombe cha Umoja - a cup to represent family and community unity.

Getting the things weren’t difficult, but dedicating time each day to discuss the Kwanzaa greetings each day was a challenge.

December 26: "Umoja" — Unity

December 27: "Kujichagulia" — Self-determination

December 28: "Ujima" — Collective work and responsibility

December 29: "Ujamaa" — Cooperative economics

December 30: "Nia" — Purpose

December 31: "Kuumba" — Creativity

January 1: "Imani" — Faith.

The day after Christmas, a day we use to rest as small business owners, we began the day by talking about unity and sharing with our children what it meant and asking them to share memories they had where they witnessed unity (probably at preschool, perhaps helping a friend with a challenging task).

Each day, as we discussed the greetings, my husband lit a candle (and then my child and him blew it out together for fire safety sake)

The first candle to be lit is the black candle, then the far red candle, far green candle, and back and forth till all candles are lit by January 1.

As we welcomed the New Year as a family, in the meantime also celebrating our daughter’s birthday on Dec 27, we moved our family from discussing about unity in the past year, into talking about faith in the year ahead, in our family, our community, and ourselves.

Family traditions don’t have to be major.

The two above are our largest traditions. In addition to them, our family offers joss sticks to ancestors on their birthdays or death anniversaries, and still eat those delicious glutinous rice balls to welcome winter solstice.

But when it comes to traditions, the little things we are consistent about are as valuable as the big things.

We share food -

Eat well, eat together, and always eat in harmony. We do not consume food while angry or distracted (I actively get indigestion and feel ill if I eat when I am angry or upset)

We share space -

Bedtime means we all go to our respective beds. Please, mama needs her space, and mama needs time with dada. But in the morning, it’s fair game as long as the owner of the bed is awake. This means I can climb into bed with a toddler who’s awake, and a toddler can pounce on me if I’m awake. If my eyes are closed, leave me to rest. Toddlers can also learn to be considerate.

We share journeys -

We travel to visit family when we can. One of the things about having family far away is that getting to them is a major experience. Packing together as a family could be a tradition, ordering a drink or snack on board could a tradition of treats. It can also be a tradition to take a bus ride to visit a close family friend every month, or talk about the things that happened that day and how it made us feel on our way home.

We share music -

We hope impromptu dance parties. Sometimes, just connect to that speaker and play that music. We like Bob Marley so our daughter is always asking for that song with “three little birds”. But make it a tradition to let loose, to be silly, to not take everyday so seriously that you forget to laugh. The Chinese believe that laughter is a great medicine and lack of laughter can harm the body, so laugh away. Play.

We share time -

We live near the campus of UC Berkeley, and one of our favorite things to do as a family is to watch the sunset on the grassy field facing Oxford Street. We play with the kids, eat some fruits, then bike home together. Routines can be tradition.

Don’t take time for granted, be deliberate about the traditions you want your family to share. They’ll be what the children remember and bring into their own families.